Did I eat it or did I rub it on my face?

Ugh... late night McDonald's run not treating me so well. I always think of the Jim Gaffigan sketch, where he's talking about hot pockets. "I've never eaten a hot pocket and then afterwards, been like 'I'm glad I ate that.' I'm always like, 'I'm gonna die...' "

I realize it's been a few posts since I mentioned South Park, and since it's already the end of the first half of season 12, this could be my last chance till October. All in all, I'd have to say B+. Solid B, for sure. I wasn't sold on the Britney Spears episode, but the 'Canada on Strike' and 'Super
Fun Time' were both pretty fantastic. I like the full circle on Mr/s. Garrison, though I'm a little disappointed that his new friend/mouse/penis didn't reprise the role in 'Super Fun Time'. I figured it was a return to the Mr. Hat days for sure.



I also have to say I'm pretty psyched for the upcoming movie season, what with 'Iron Man' coming this week, 'Speed Racer' the next, and 'The Dark Knight' shortly after that. 'Speed Racer' sounded lame, but after seeing the trailer, I'm pretty excited. For one, it's being done by the Wachowski Siblings, who, you might recall, also made 'The Matrix Trilogy' and 'V for Vendetta'. On a side note, I've been told that one of the Wachowskis had a sex change, so they're going by Siblings now.

P.S. Go Philly.

Totally worth it

I know my blog seems to be skewed towards the NFL, but with the draft this weekend, sue me. Pretty soon it will be the quiet part of the offseason, with nothing to look forward to until training camp starts and I die a little bit inside.

That being said, I have to say I really like the Allen signing. Before the draft, every mock draft I looked at had Derrick Harvey (considered one the best pass rushers in the draft) falling to the 17th spot where the Vikes took him. Instead, the Vikings felt that he wouldn't be around, so they traded their 17th pick, plus two third rounders to get him. Meanwhile, Jacksonville (who had a lot less draft picks) traded the 20th pick, plus two third rounders AND a fourth rounder to move up to the 8th spot in the draft so they could take Harvey. Seems to me that the Vikes gave up less to get a proven pass rusher, if not the best in the league, rather than take an unknown.

Dallas Stars are a bunch of jerks. I don't like the Sharks, but I'm sure cheering for them. And Philly. Go Philly!

How many prostitutes?

Flames are out of it. The playoffs I mean. Hockey. Personally, I'm kinda surprised they lasted this long. I don't follow hockey that closely, but for me, I remember the Flames from last year's playoffs where they were a bunch of goons riding on the coattails of Kippersoff. From the couple of games I watched this series, they seem to be the same kind of deal, although I have to give them credit. They played with a lot of heart in the 3rd period tonight, despite being down 5-2. Kind of a shame they couldn't have been playing like that in some of the other games.

In other news, Jared Allen signed with the Vikes today. I'm kind of at a loss... it was suggested that he would be paid close to Dwight Freeney money (6 year, $72 million contract with the Colts, with $30 million guaranteed) and traded for either a 1st round and 3rd round draft pick in this year's draft or the first rounders from the next two years. Not only did he sign a 6 year, $74 million dollar contract, with $31 million guaranteed (making him the highest paid defensive player in the league), but the Vikes gave up their 1st round pick and both their 3rd round picks in this year's draft. Wow...



On the other hand, you can only imagine the kind of damage that he'll do on the defensive line next to Pat and Kevin Williams. I know not everyone follows the Vikings religiously, but my basic point is that Pat and Kevin are the Vikes starting defensive tackles and the foundation of the best rush defense in the league, not to mention perennial Pro Bowlers. As Allen is a Pro Bowl defensive end himself, that would mean that 3 of the 4 guys on the defensive line will be Pro Bowlers. And that is a scary thought. So the question is, is it worth it?

I feel like there's something I'm forgetting...

Everythings funnier at 3...

Studying at 3 in the morning, I come across a message among my notes:

"He doesn't have a lot of answers today. He should guess, make something up. If I was teaching, I'd make stuff up."

One advantage of becoming a teacher is that your students take you at your word.

Four days after the story broke, Jared Allen is still a Kansas City Chief. The NFL has a rule in place that says a player can only visit a team for a period of 48 hours, forcing Allen to leave Minnesota earlier today (Sunday). Although he hasn't signed a contract, there are conflicting reports that the Vikes were close to both contract agreements with Allen and trade agreements with the Chiefs. However, now it sounds more like the Vikes are going to try to sign Allen to a poison pill contract after the draft, which would mean they'd be giving up their next 2 first round draft choices. It's an interesting choice, considering right now, the price would likely be the 17th pick in this year's draft, as well as a 2nd or maybe even 3rd round draft pick. The big difference is that if Allen makes the impact that the Vikes think/hope he will make, the first round draft picks will be late ones. I'm torn on the issue.

On a side note, I just joined a touch football team.

Nick keeps playing his damn harmonica

Sometime between destroying Nick at golf and destroying Nick at Street Fighter 2, I realized that I forgot to post my exciting news!

Jared Allen, recently of the Kansas City Chiefs, has been involved with contract talks with the Minnesota Vikes. As a die-hard Vikes fan, I have to say that's extremely good news, considering the extreme lack of a pass rush we had last season. Jared Allen registered 15.5 sacks last year, while Ray Edwards and Kenechi Udeze both tied for the Vikes sack leader with 5. Ray Edwards also had problems with steroid use, being suspended for 4 games, while Kenechi Udeze was recently diagnosed with leukemia. However, although Pro Football Talk . com just posted that his leukemia is already in remission, it remains unlikely that he'll return to the football field in 2008. With the addition of Jared Allen, as well as the additions of WR Bernard Berrian and S Madieu Williams, I believe that the Vikes will be a playoff caliber team. Skol Vikes.



P.S. Denver sucks. Cutler will never develop into a great quarterback, and coach Kevlar will be fired after this next mediocre season.

P.S.S. Baltimore also sucks. I'd tell you to draft a quarterback, but it won't help any. Ray Lewis is retired after this season, and with him, goes any chance of returning to your super bowl form in 2001.

Vipers? Lamborghinis? Nick's story isn't going anywhere

Hey guys, sorry for the lack of posts. Been busy with exams. Meh.

Been watching some more hockey. Man, Detroit is so lame. Won in overtime, on a beautiful breakaway and goal. Definitely earned it, but I still gotta say, damn nazi communists. Watched part of the Anaheim game, but decided to go drinking with Nick instead. Solid choice.



Disappointed with South Park last night. Well done, well written, but I don't know, didn't enjoy it as much as some of the other ones. More to follow. Nick's telling me it's my shot in drunken Wii golf.

So... come here often?

Second day of absolutely no news.

Actually, that's not true. Sens are officially out of the playoffs, losing their fourth game in a row to Crosby and the Pens. I missed the game, but caught the handshakes at the end. A matter of time, in my opinion. Now we can all get back to the important games, like Anaheim versus Dallas, and Philly versus Washington. Like Anaheim, hate Dallas. Philly, I'm only cheering for because of my fondness for Danny Briere. He's a cool guy.



Nashville-Detroit also played tonight, Nashville pulling off a huge win to tie the series 2-2. Good news for Preds fans, because the Red Wings are a tough team. I don't know if it's all the red, but I keep likening them to communists in my mind, circa like 25 years ago. If you don't watch out, they'll steal your children! Just kidding. But seriously.

New South Park comes out tonight. I've been very impressed with the last few South Park episodes, particularly the Canada on Strike episode playin on the WGA strike, and then last week where it dealt with the two subjects simultaneously, Mr/s Garrison on the one hand, and the shot at the Patriots/Lean on Me ripoff on the other. Seems like they've been trying to get back to their roots a bit, which is good news. Sometimes I feel like the pressure of making a controversial episode gets to them a bit and Matt and Trey churn out stuff like the Britney Spears episode. Well done guys.

Exordium

A blog? What am I going to do with a blog? It's almost like giving a dog tap dancing lessons... Almost.

As a heads up, I still haven't decided exactly what kind of blog this will be, so until I do, be warned it will probably be a bunch of disjointed and nonsensical comments, probably full of random quotes from a variety of TV shows, movies, and song lyrics.

Actually, that sounds pretty good.